Love and Tacos

epic:

damn, Sun Maid Raisin Girl. you get some work done?

you’re giving me a serious fruitboner with that gnar-gnar Erykah Baduh chefs hat you’re wearing.

epic:

ok, guys. frealz this time. you have three days to register to vote.

i’m not saying WHO you should vote for. i’m not saying you should look at the picture above. nope. i wouldn’t be implying that if you, persay, like attractive women and beer that you should vote for ________. nope. Boner Party is totally unbiased.

i’m just saying that John McCain hasn’t had an erection since Blossom was still on the air. as per Joey Lawrence: woah!

epic:

if this economy is really as bad as The Great Bum-Out, then wheres our Clara Bow?

yeah we’re cultured. boof!

epic:

when they make the Boner Party movie i want Phillip Seymour Hoffman to play the part of “My Boner” and Michelle Monaghan to play the part of “Herself”.

it’ll be crazy epic like the last five or so minutes of The Good The Bad & The Ugly.

epic:

show a picture of Topanga to a room full of bro’s and you’ll have a near auction like calling:

“15 boners? fifteen boners…. i got 19… 23 in the back… 23 boners… 23 boners going to the man… NO we’ve got 37 boners from the man in the frayed cap… 38 boners from the gentleman in the Invader Zim tshirt… 38 boners going once…”

JUST SAYIN IS ALL.

epic:

we felt bad getting a private Boner Party while watching a rerun of The Wonder Years recently. we really did. but considering she grew up to be this supermegadoubleplus babe that she is, then, well, all bets are off.

BRUTAL FACT: Boner Party does not condone pedophilia. Boner Party only condones it for the three seconds it takes to go “oh… oh wow… thats how she is these days?”. see that change up? we condone pedophilia for that three seconds.

epic:

dude, this building should be Boner Party HQ.

fuck. what a rad building.

epic:

Kathy Griffin is boner kryptonite. she’s up there with baseball and pictures of the holocaust in terms of things i don’t want to think about while having a boner.

she is a living, breathing Norman Rockwell painting called “Nah, Dude”.

epic:

have we forgotten that Zooey has an older sister who is also a total babe?

her name is Emily Deschanel, and she works on a show called ‘Bones’. and that is really close to ‘Boners’.

thats the best i can come up with. sorry, a lot of my jokes were tied up in sub-prime mortgages. this economy is fucking E’RYTHING up.

epic:

SPITEFUCK (spy.t.fuhk)
v. intr

To have sex with someone who one finds physically attractive but personally loathsome. Sometimes abbreviated SF in polite company. Antonym: Tender Lovin’ Fuck